Every watering hole has its own ethos. With this comes a certain set of standards commonly observed by its patrons. Collis isn't like this. Collis has laws, and if you don't obey them, you will be stoned with rotten dates. So as Danielle Staub once said, "Pay attention. Puh-lease."
The Collis Code of Conduct is as follows.
1. No '14s.
Sorry, you're not ready yet. Next year, bb. Learn the Code and get wise.
2. No backpacks.
Pretty obvious. There is a maximum girth you can have in order to even fit inside the trough area of Collis, and if you're wearing a backpack you will undoubtedly exceed it. Same goes for fatties.
3. Salad shaking should be kept to an absolute minimum.
Okay, there is a fine line between shaking and throttling. If you really love your salad, be gentle with it. Your salad is a precious, very delicate...okay you get it. Here's the real talk. Ever heard of SSS? No? Well. You're ignorant. It stands for Shaken Salad Syndrome, and it's fatal. So think twice. And go easy on the Craisins. Sharing is caring.
4. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's table.
Would you jack somebody's fleece during TDXmas? Would you steal an Odwalla from Novack because the fridge is in front of the counter? Would you steal a composite? Would you steal AD's dog? Well, we're all human. We take things occasionally. Insignificant things. But tables in Collis are sacred. Even if all that is sitting at a huge round table is a pair of free EDPA socks, that territory has been claimed. Might as well be drenched in urine. That table is NOT fair game, and you best be on your way.
5. No cutting in line for omelets, pasta, or stir-fry.
"Oh, is this the sandwich line?" Obviously not, nobody gets sandwiches. Nice try, asshat. Nobody wants to wait 25 minutes, risking getting scalding hot tea poured on them by idiot '14s wearing backpacks just so they can eat a real meal with protein, that isn't date-encrusted. But we all have to wait. And we have to wait a long time, thanks to the architectural sadists who designed this school. So don't cut anyone. However, the kind where you see your best friend from Anthro 1 and get in line "next" to them is legit. Life is all about who you know.
6. Elbowing is fine.
Survival of the fittest, yo.
7. Greenprint doesn't work.
This topic could potentially open up a whole nother can of worms vis-a-vis Info Desk People, but brevity is key and time is of the essence. I have my carpet-flying PE in like 10 mins and I need it to graduate. So. We all know that Greenprint is a notoriously fickle mistress, but the Collis Greenprint is particularly bad. If you even want to have a chance of printing your thesis, do it on Simplex. Because if you think you'll be printing on Duplex, you must be ridiculous.
8. Ask before you unplug someone's charger.
At this point in our lives, our extension cords have essentially become our umbilical cords. They connect us to our life source. So don't just rip it out of the wall like it doesn't matter. Ask first, then sever some poor upperclassman from the source that allows herm to troll DDS menus, Facebook, and...other...anonymous posting sites...that keep herm abreast of the important things that are happening in and beyond the 5 walls and sunroof of Collis.
9. Respect Sunja.
With the exception of Yama, which Sunja probably owns anyway, this dude is solely responsible for bringing sushi to Hanover. Praise his name. Treat Sunja like you should already be treating your salad. Except treat Sunja like a salad that could poison you to death with a special surprise blowfish roll.
1o. No vagrancy.
If you don't know why you're going into the trough zone, you shouldn't be in there at all. Trust me, you will knock over someone's tea. You can't just breeze in there like a will-o-wisp, or a tumbleweed. What does this look like? The liberal arts? Get out of my way, I have an X-HOUR!
11. The Code does not apply to Late Nite.
All bets are off. You're high. Don't care. Mozz sticks! College!!